How Much is Too Much?
Years ago, I began writing a book based on my experience with breast cancer and the spiritual lessons I learned throughout my treatment. Life continued, praise God, and I put my book plans on hold. This blog was my simple way of nurturing my love of writing without the pressure of completing a whole book. Someday I’ll share more of what I learned on my own cancer page, but our priority is the here and now so book plans will have to wait.
One universal truth Brayden and I have realized in this process is that people frequently don’t know what to say when someone they care about is struggling. We’ve learned to understand they are doing the best they can and their motives are pure.
Nothing holds more true to this than the phrase, “God won’t give you more than you can handle,” frequently said to come directly from 1 Corinthians 10:13. I consider this one of the most misquoted verses of the Bible because the words are similar but the interpretation is not accurate. (I won’t quote it here, but check it out to see what it actually says!) The rest of Scripture makes it clear that we will definitely suffer as Christians, and there are many examples of believers suffering to the point of death. Being a Christian doesn’t mean there is some kind of arbitrary limit to the amount of suffering we will have. Being a Christian means that we will be tested, persecuted, and maybe even killed for our faith. It also means God has a purpose in all of it. We aren’t supposed to rely on ourselves. We absolutely will be given more than WE can handle, but it will never be more than God can handle.
For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again.
2 Corinthians 1:8-10
For those who might be unaware of the extent of hardship our family has had this year, I thought it might be “fun” to catch everyone up and give the reason for the hope that we have in the middle of it all! I’ll include a timeline here, followed by an update on how Brayden is doing this week…
2020 At-A-Glance for the Edwards Fam
January – We were just obliviously living life like everything was normal 😉
February – Kurt had rotator cuff surgery, followed by 6 months of recovery and physical therapy
March – Covid-19 shut down the economy and school was closed, beginning a long two months of not seeing our older kids/grandkids; Kurt had to learn how to teach auto mechanics online (spoiler alert: it doesn’t work)
April – Riots threatened the lives of law enforcement everywhere, including our oldest son and our son-in-law, prompting many sleepless nights filled with a lot of prayer
May – Homeschool Dance is canceled due to Covid-19; my event coordinating business closes the year in the red
June – Father’s Day – Our son-in-law left our daughter, bringing their 4-1/2 year marriage to an end; Amanda and Saylor moved into our upstairs and we began an ongoing remodel to give them their own space
July – No crises! Yay! We thought we were done until…
August 11 – My Nana passed away at age 98 after a very short battle with a brain tumor
August 17 – After a year of working to start a new co-op, it was delayed until January due to Covid-19
August 17 – Brayden was diagnosed with T-cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (T-ALL)
So, how much is too much? I don’t share this list for sympathy, as I know many families have also had a very difficult year. I share it to show that we can endure what seems to be an impossible number of hardships AND there still isn’t a “limit”. We all live with the knowledge that something worse could happen tomorrow. Faith is knowing that God still works through these circumstances, no matter how bleak they may seem to us. He is still in control.
Over the past few months, I have frequently said, “I’m exhausted at a soul level.” I think the rest of the family feels the same. However, we do not feel defeated. Along with many of you, we have become living examples of 2 Corinthians 4:7-11. Are we having a difficult year? Yes. Are we crushed, in despair, abandoned, or destroyed? No. The purpose of our struggles is to reveal the life of Jesus. Any illusion that we have our act together or are sailing through this year with ease is not from us. We’ve truly experienced the peace that passes understanding. We don’t get it! But we don’t really need to understand it to experience it.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.
2 Corinthians 4:7-11
As for Brayden, after the reaction he had that sent him to the hospital, he had a couple other scary reactions and side effects. On one occasion, he was showing signs of a pulmonary embolism, so we spent another full day in the ER ruling out that possibility.
Over the past week, Brayden had a bit of a break between types of chemo. They did progress tests and scans to see how he is progressing and this week he began a new round of chemo. This round will last one month and will drop his immune system to zero, so we all have to be very careful in our potential exposure to anything he could contract.
If you’re still with me, I want to share some great news! Like I said, we are not despairing because we know God is with us and will not forsake us, but there are also many amazing things happening in the midst of these challenges.
Our daughter, Amanda, was accepted at Grand Canyon University (online) and is fulfilling her dream of becoming a Biblical counselor. This was something she had planned to do someday, but her current life circumstances brought it once again to the surface. She is still processing intense grief, but watching her faith in God’s plan for her and Saylor has been amazing to see. We’re so glad she is fully plugged into the Source of her strength.
Kurt’s shoulder has finally healed, almost back to normal! About 3 months after surgery, he was very concerned that he might not be able to work on cars again, which would obviously be devastating for our family. At that point, he was fairly certain he wouldn’t be able to ride motorcycles again, but this past weekend he rode with a bunch of young guys (ha!) and had a great day. He was also able to open our shop a couple months ago. Such a huge answer to prayer!
A friend of Brayden’s set up a Go Fund Me for him and between the money raised there and donations he has received personally, his medical bills will be covered for BOTH years! Since his treatment will span 2020 and 2021, he will reach his out-of-pocket maximum both years. He won’t be able to work for at least 8 months, so this provision was not expected, but God used many of you to help in this very tangible way and we are so grateful.
And now the news that probably brought you to this post! Thanks for being here to listen to my heart while waiting for the update!
Brayden’s first bone marrow test was last week. With leukemia, the bone marrow is considered to be 100% cancer cells before treatment. Brayden’s bone marrow is now .005%. This is amazing news! It should be 0% so his course of treatment is still on track as planned, but this gives us so much hope!
The biggest shocker for us was the size of the mass in his chest. We had originally been told that it was the size of a fist. I’m not sure who has a fist this big, but the actual size was 17cm! No wonder he was having a hard time breathing! Praise God, it is now just 4cm wide!
Prayer requests for this month: Side effect management during this phase of treatment, no exposure to illnesses, further reduction of the mass, and a 0% presence of cancer in the bone marrow at the end of this phase
To those who have prayed, given donations and gift cards, brought meals, and visited, we are eternally thankful. Your kindness is such an encouragement to all of us. We love you all and praise God for the way He has used this year to draw us closer to Him and to all of you!
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11 Comments
Jake
I kept thinking of your 2020 list, but to actually see it in order made me realize how truly tough this year has been.
Kaylee and I continue to pray for Brayden, Amanda, and the whole family. Grateful for each of you.
Stepherella
Thank you, Jake! We appreciate your prayers so much!
Elise Beadell
This is such great news! He’s been in my prayers almost daily. He looks very handsome as usual. This update is so helpful to know how to pray more specifically. Keep leaning on God, He’s right there with you!
Candy
Remembering Stephan how we both traveled the breast cancer journey…& thinking about all that has transpired since then …. U R ALL in my heart & prayers daily..
Desteni Lebrant
This is so unreal, and so incredible. I know Jesus has you all in His hands, but it’s sometimes hard to understand how such a loving and godly family should have to endure so much. Thank you for sharing this clarity. I will continue to pray!
BTW…can you share the links to any GoFundMe’s? I think I missed them and would love to donate. Love you all.
Stepherella
Thank you so much for your prayers! Love you so much! I hadn’t shared the link because it seems weird to do so, but I’ll include it here so people know it’s actually legit and Brayden has approved it. 🙂 https://www.gofundme.com/f/braydon-edwards-leukemia
Joan Gangl
Continuing to pray for Brayden and your whole family. You are truly testifying to “When I am weak, then I am strong”.
Donald Walker
Your living testimony edifies our God and us alike. While the source of this condition Braydon is battling may be difficult to know, his and your family’s perseverance serve at minimum a warning that evil will not prevail in your home. Praise God and may He continue His provision through all you face.
Melissa Cathey
Thank you for sharing! What a beautiful picture of God’s steadfast love amidst the craziness and particularly hard trials you are all going through. Your faith and eyes to see God’s hand through it all are encouraging. Praying your story will bring true Hope to those navigating life without Him. Praying zero percent for Brayden! 😉💜
Darcie Trimble
I am so glad that Brayden is doing better praise God for that and praise God to you Stephanie and your family for going through this hardship this year and being able to rely on God for your strength and your wisdom you are truly an inspiration to me let me know if there’s anything I can do for you and your family
carrie cheetham
Love and agree with all of this!! I’ve never understood or agreed with that comment on “God wont give us more than we can handle”. I feel like I often have more than I can handle in my life and which makes me run to Him and watch as His strength becomes perfect in my weakness!!! Thanks for always glorifying God!