Crisis Schooling – Lessons from a Homeschooler

As I write this, we are in the throws of COVID-19. Schools across much of the world have been closed for the remainder of the school year and families are attempting something they had no intention of doing: homeschooling. Most seem to waffle somewhere between “we’re getting it all done” and “we give up”. My husband is a teacher, so we are keenly aware of the other side as well. Teachers are attempting to teach classes online after receiving limited training on how to teach a remote class, all while striving to help administrators who are responsible to the state’s superintendent and the ever-evolving learning objectives. All are doing their best to redeem some value from the remainder of the school year.

If you are one who found yourself suddenly thrown into the world of homeschooling, this post is for you. As a full-time homeschooler by choice, I’ve learned a little over the years about what sticks and what is thrown out at the end of a school year. If you hear nothing else, hear this: Your kids are going to be fine! You’re doing your best, just as the teachers are, but it doesn’t mean you have to do ALL THE THINGS. In our state, the schools have been given guidelines on what they can and can’t do in regard to grades for the year. No student is able to fail for the year as a result of the shutdown. If you have a public school student, you are probably feeling slightly out of the loop concerning your child’s schooling. That’s why this post will focus on what you CAN control as a crisis schooler:

You CAN create positive memories
Our children are under more stress than normal. Homeschoolers and public schoolers alike are feeling disconnected, unsure of the future, and missing their friends. Let’s face it – we’re all feeling like this! Do yourself and your children a favor and set aside regular times to spend together, rather than just surviving each day by keeping them occupied while you tackle your to-do list. Here are a few simple ideas:

• Take a walk or bike ride as a family
• Start a new workout program with your kids
• Plant a garden together
• Take a drive and stop for ice cream at a drive-thru
• Listen to an audio book together while having a tea party
• Read a book out loud (even older kids enjoy a good read-aloud)
• Play a video game together (you’ll be the coolest mom ever!)
• Learn a new skill together, such as watercolor painting or sewing
• Watch their favorite show with them
• Order dinner and have a picnic on the floor

As much as we might feel we’ve had plenty of time with our kids, time away from friends their own age takes a toll on their confidence in the future. It doesn’t have to be spectacular or over-planned; they just need to know that someone would still choose to spend time with them and their presence is not a nuisance.

Make the most of your time
Experienced homeschoolers know that learning is not confined to a set time called “school”. Learning comes in many forms and should happen organically throughout the day. When you allow time for your kids to read, play games, follow a recipe, research an area of interest, watch a documentary about a historical time period, learn how to play an instrument, or follow an art tutorial online, you are nurturing their natural love of learning. Frequently, I hear parents lament that schools don’t teach life skills anymore. If your kids are older (over 12), now is the perfect time. Using fictional money, give them a paycheck for the month and task them with creating a budget, paying bills, planning meals, making a grocery list, and saving for the future. Try to focus on areas that are not generally covered in school. If the amount of schoolwork is crowding out real-life learning, this might be a good sign that you’re trying to fit too much into your day.

Be honest with your kids
None of us do our kids any favors by promising the future or dwelling on our negative circumstances. Kids are smart and they know when something isn’t quite right. No matter their age, they deserve the truth, presented in a way that respects their level of understanding and maturity. Instead of promising that everything is going to be okay and you will always be with them, promise them that God is always with them and we don’t know the future but He does. Instead of endlessly watching the news and keeping up with death statistics, pray for families who have lost loved ones and send notes of appreciation to essential workers your kids know.

When you have a hard day and break down because you feel trapped and alone, tell your kids you miss your family and friends, too. It’s okay for our kids to see us cry, as long as we don’t lay our burdens on their shoulders as a problem for them to fix. Ask for their forgiveness after you use yelling as your coping mechanism because they neglected to clean up their mess AGAIN. This crisis is not easy on any of us, but I believe we can use it as an opportunity to increase our kids’ trust level if we are willing to be real with them. When we show our kids an appropriate level of vulnerability, we give them license to share their struggles with us as well.

I wish I could say I haven’t learned all of these things by personal experience, but I’ve learned all these things from personal experience! I’m the yelling, distracted, tired mom who lacks creativity more often that I care to admit. But I’ve also learned that when I respond to the needs behind my kids’ behavior, it never fails to improve the quality of our day. I hope this helps you feel more confident in being your kids’ teacher during this time! Summer is coming, so we can all give a big shout of praise for that!

I’d love to hear some of your ideas for making these days as positive as possible, so please drop a comment below!