10/5/04 – Hairless in Maple Valley

I thought I should update ya'all on what is happening with us this week.

First of all, thank you for your prayers regarding the sickness going through our family. It stopped at Amanda, praise God! The rest of us are doing fine with no signs of illness. I have had a mild cold since my first treatment, which I'm guessing will just be hard to shake with my immune system being so weak.

On that note, we made a couple of hard decisions this past week. I teach a preschool class at the co-op we attend on Fridays and starting feeling last week that it wasn't the wisest choice at this point, due to the possibility of catching illnesses from the 'walking petri dishes' (that's what my dr. called preschoolers). So, Colby and Amanda are attending co-op with Jill and her kids until the end of this trimester (December) and Brayden and I are staying home. My treatments will be done before the start of next trimester, so it seems to be the best choice. The co-op has been amazingly supportive to us and it is hard not to be there, but we will be back in January!

We also decided to keep Brayden out of Sunday school class on Sundays. We will just try to avoid contact with anyone who could even unknowingly be passing germs around. We are going to come and go quickly on Sundays, too. Contact with certain germs or kids who have had live vaccines could be very dangerous and land me in the hospital. Also, I so badly want to stay on schedule with the treatments since my last one is scheduled for December 20. Merry Christmas!! If all goes well, it will prove to be the best one we've ever had, I think!

If you have seen me, you know that I am now hairless. I have chosen to wear hats instead of wigs. I've tried to wear the wigs, but they are very uncomfortable and, let's face it – I don't have hair!! It just seems silly to pretend that I do! So, I'm most comfortable in hats and am collecting quite a few to compliment my wardrobe.

I have done much better with this second treatment than I did with the first. I only had headaches for about 2-3 days and then they went away. I had mild nausea and a pretty constant stomach ache for about a week, but it was much more manageable. I have been able to eat, although it's a little different than I usually eat. No more 'all organic' – I just have to eat whatever tastes good, so it's been mostly mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, and avocados for the first few days after treatment. For some reason, Caesar salad always tastes good, too. Weird combination, I know, but it's working!

Kurt and I actually had a chance to get out alone Saturday night. It was really nice and much needed. I went to the Mark Schultz/Avalon concert on Sunday with friends, which was very uplifting. I have been able to keep up with school (from my recliner!) and getting the kids to their activities. All of these things help me feel somewhat 'normal', although my 'normal' has changed a bit over the past three months!

One thing God is teaching me through this situation is that I have not been very compassionate toward others in the past. My heart now breaks for others – I cry when I see fellow cancer patients and when I hear of a new diagnosis. To my shame, I can't say that it ever affected me much before. I pray that I will never lose that and that God has a plan to use me to help others when I am stronger. I am actually excited to see the ways that God will use my experience with cancer in my future. Romans 8:28 says that God causes all things to work together for good to those that love Him and are called according to His purpose. I know that He has a plan and purpose and I pray that I will glorify Him in many ways through this experience.